Why I’m an Atheist
I originally published this on my LinkedIn page on December 28, 2023. It is my response to Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s, “Why I Am Now a Christian.”
The path to personal belief, or in my case, disbelief, can often be traced back to a singular, life-altering moment. In this essay, I intend to weave together the intricate tapestry of my journey from a devout Roman Catholic upbringing to atheism, a journey marked by a blend of personal experiences and academic insights. My story begins in the familiar setting of private Catholic schools, where my education was steeped in religious doctrine from kindergarten through high school. However, the seeds of doubt were sown not through intellectual discourse or philosophical inquiry but through a childhood stunt that nearly cost me my life.
This pivotal episode unfolded just before my 13th birthday, during an ordinary eighth-grade day. The catalyst was a trick, learned from a fellow football player, designed to make oneself pass out. While I will refrain from detailing the method for safety reasons, it involved a process that induced hyperventilation and, unbeknownst to me at the time, could cause the heart to stop beating. Driven by the youthful desire to prove a point to my peers, some of whom were skeptical and one who outright accused me of fabricating the story, I decided to demonstrate this dangerous stunt in the school classroom.
The result was as dramatic as it was unforeseen: I died, albeit temporarily.
In the aftermath of this harrowing experience, I awoke to the physical pain of a burn on my face, a result of sliding across the classroom’s nylon carpet, and the more profound, more perplexing pain of existential confusion. Medical examinations later revealed that I had developed an arrhythmic heartbeat, a temporary condition, likely due to my heart having stopped for approximately a minute – realistically, probably longer, given the initial shock and delayed reaction of my classmates in seeking help.
This near-death experience, devoid of any spiritual encounters or mystical revelations, stood in stark contrast to the religious narratives I had been taught. There were no divine visions, celestial lights, or encounters with departed souls – only darkness, a void where time and consciousness ceased to exist. This profound absence of afterlife indications catalyzed my journey of skepticism and introspection. In the following passages, I will delve into the evolution of my beliefs, exploring how this incident challenged my religious convictions and propelled me toward atheism guided by personal inquiry and academic research.
Long before the stunt altered my perception of life and death, I was a child marked by an innate curiosity and a penchant for questioning. My inquiries, though frequent, were often delivered with politeness, befitting a student educated in Catholic doctrine. Home and school alike became arenas for my gentle probing into the teachings and stories of the faith that enveloped my life. However, the aftermath of my near-death experience precipitated a significant shift in my approach. The politeness that once colored my questions faded, replaced by a sense of betrayal and a hunger for truth.
This newfound boldness in challenging religious teachings was met with less than enthusiasm by my educators. My relentless questioning, now stripped of its earlier courteous veneer, frequently landed me in the office of Sister Mary-Something – the exact name escapes me, but her stern demeanor is unforgettable. She often passed the baton to Father Don, hoping perhaps for divine intervention in taming my rebellious spirit. Father Don, however, quickly realized that my admiration for George Carlin’s irreverence was a barrier too high for his pastoral guidance to surmount. I recall one incident where I was caught reciting Carlin’s infamous “Seven Dirty Words” in the chapel – a stunt that did little to endear me to Father Don, though it certainly amused my peers.
Amidst my burgeoning reputation as a troublemaker, I embarked on a task most of my contemporaries would never consider: reading the Bible. Initially, the archaic language and the aura of sanctity surrounding the text were daunting. Yet, this reverence gradually dissipated as I began assigning voices to the biblical characters inspired by comic book heroes. Moses, with his rugged determination, became my version of Wolverine; King David’s strategic prowess mirrored that of Batman; and Jesus, with his unconventional wisdom and sharp wit, reminded me of Deadpool, especially given his stance on radical self-accountability as stated in Matthew 5.
It took me seven years to traverse the entirety of the Bible, an endeavor that led me to a significant realization: the Bible, in its essence, is a splendid piece of mythology. It contains all the elements of an epic saga – sarcastic leaders, espionage, betrayal, and even a drag in the narrative with the teachings of peace and love. However, the plot regains momentum as it approaches the apocalyptic crescendo of Revelations, complete with celestial births, the Four Horsemen, and dragons, echoing the grandeur of tales like “The Lord of the Rings.”
This realization was further cemented through conversations with my Grandfather, a man whose resilience in the face of numerous heart attacks and strokes was nothing short of legendary. By the time I turned 18, he was surviving on merely a quarter of his functioning heart, having outlived a prognosis of six months by six years. His tenacity, it seemed, was a family trait.
Encouraged by the insights gained from my personal experiences and the introspection they provoked, my journey of understanding naturally extended beyond the boundaries of Christianity. With a mind now open to diverse perspectives, I embarked on an explorative study of various world religions and philosophies, each offering a unique lens through which to view the human condition. This exploration was not just academic but a quest for a deeper understanding of humanity’s perennial search for meaning and purpose.
As I delved into the teachings of Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, and the ancient mythologies of Greco-Roman and Pagan cultures, I discovered a common thread weaving through them all. Despite their distinct rituals, deities, and doctrines, these varied belief systems shared fundamental themes – the quest for understanding, the explanation of natural phenomena, the moral guidance for living a righteous life, and the promise of something beyond our mortal existence. It became increasingly clear that these religions and mythologies were not just spiritual doctrines but also reflections of humanity’s early attempts to comprehend the world around them.
With its rich tapestry of gods and goddesses, Hinduismoffered narratives that encapsulated the complexity of the universe and the human psyche. With its focus on inner peace and enlightenment, Buddhismpresented a path to understanding the self and the nature of suffering. Islam, with its emphasis on submission to the will of Allah, provided a framework for living a life by divine guidance. The ancient Greco-Roman and Pagan mythologies, filled with gods as fallible and powerful, mirrored the human traits of love, jealousy, and heroism. Each of these systems of belief, in its way, contributed to the tapestry of human understanding.
This exploration led to a profound realization: these religions and mythologies were not disparate truths but rather different chapters of the same story – the story of humanity. From the dawn of our existence, we have been storytellers, weaving narratives to explain the unexplainable, to give order to chaos, and to find our place in the vastness of the universe. These stories evolved, growing in complexity as our understanding of the world expanded. Just as children outgrow their early tales and fables, humanity has grown, moving from the simplicity of early mythologies to more complex philosophical and theological systems.
Now, as we stand on the threshold of a new era, it is time to view these stories for what they are – not literal truths but symbolic markers of our evolutionary journey. They are the collective dreams and fears of a species coming to terms with its existence in a vast and mysterious universe. In recognizing this, we can begin to transcend the literal interpretations of these narratives and embrace a future where our decisions and beliefs are guided by knowledge, reason, and a deep understanding of our shared humanity. This is not to diminish the value of these ancient stories but to place them in the appropriate context – as stepping stones in our relentless pursuit of truth and enlightenment.
As we reach the end of this exploration, bridging the gap between ancient religious beliefs and the dawn of a new, enlightened understanding, we must recognize the role religion has played in human development. From archaic mythologies to modern organized religions, these belief systems have shaped cultures and ethics and provided solace in our search for meaning. However, holding onto doctrines conceived over 5,000 years ago may no longer be congruent with our evolving society.
Historically, religious beliefs have been molded to fit societal changes. The Bible, a cornerstone of the Christian faith, has undergone numerous revisions, from the transition to the Septuagint, the formation of the New Testament Canon, the translation from the Latin Vulgate to the King James Version, and contemporary translations. These changes reflect linguistic adaptations and evolving theological interpretations, highlighting humanity’s capacity to reshape faith to align with our growing understanding of the world.
This adaptability of religious doctrine underscores an essential truth: as our global consciousness expands, so too should our belief systems. The very nature of these religious revisions indicates our ability to progress beyond ancient doctrines, adapting faith to our current human experience.
In this context, the notion that morality is exclusive to religious belief is increasingly outdated. Pope Francis himself has recognized the moral capacity of atheists, stating, “It is not necessary to believe in God to be a good person. In a way, the traditional notion of God is outdated. One can be spiritual but not religious. It is important to live a good life.” This sentiment affirms that morality is an inherent human trait, not dependent on religious teachings.
Looking forward, there’s a sense of optimism that humanity will continue its quest for enlightenment, gradually moving beyond the confines of organized religion. This transition isn’t about dismissing the comfort and values provided by faith but recognizing our potential to find meaning, purpose, and ethics independently from religious frameworks. Such a shift doesn’t signify a loss but a liberation, allowing us to explore new understandings based on reason, empathy, and a collective aim for betterment.
I embrace this perspective partly because I have to believe it. The alternative is too bleak to consider – that my near-death experience 23 years ago was my transition into an infernal afterlife. This thought, albeit darkly humorous, serves as a personal reminder of the importance of moving forward, of breaking free from the shackles of antiquated beliefs.
In this journey from the mythologies of our infancy to the scientific and philosophical inquiries of today, humanity shows a relentless pursuit of knowledge. This progress marks a future where ancient myths are valued as historical narratives, guiding us toward greater understanding and enlightenment. In this spirit of continuous growth and exploration, we can anticipate a future unbound by the limits of past superstitions, a future where humanity’s enlightenment shines ever brighter, leading us away from the shadows of our primitive fears and towards a more enlightened existence.
Until next time, Faithful Adventurers!
Brain Matter Entertainment 
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